It had been a bit more than 10 months since I was hired as a staff nurse in the best hospital in my country.  This hospital is not only the best here but it is one of the top 5 medical institutions in Asia.  And imagine how fortunate I am to be chosen from what they call the “cream of the crop”!  It sure is a very huge opportunity for me and for my profession.  Having this work experience makes my resume very attractive and fragrant to hospitals hiring in America and wherever all over he world.  So, it sure is a fine thing for me aye? And I can just imagine how happy and proud my mom is to have me working there.

 I was very much thrilled and excited when I first walked the steps and hallways of this institution during the first few days of my training period.  Smelling the aroma of a first class hospital was just so pleasing to my nostrils.  Especially during the first day when they welcomed us and seeing the institution’s name flashed by the projector, made me have goose bumps all over my body, excitement then filled my heart.  How long did this last? Haha!

 The first time we went to the units to have our own patients really made all of us nervous and all.  Of course, we know that most of the patients here are those that are well-off and have the possibility of being demanding and everything else making you stand on your toes. One characteristic of the nurses in this hospital is that we manage to put a smile across our faces despite toxicity of our patients!   Then, I realized that it wasn’t just the patients that make this job difficult but the other senior nurses who act like gods and kick you around.  That’s the most difficult part!  I can take standing on my feet for ten hours, attending to my patient’s needs, giving their medications, not eating even one spoon of rice nor drinking a drop of water the entire shift, forgetting to go to the comfort room to pee. Yet I can still say that the work load is bearable but the people around was the meanest thing there is.  There, you see how difficult my job is?  We push ourselves too much.  We put our patient’s needs ahead of our own. 

 The love I’ve felt for my work didn’t last long am telling you. I wanted to resign every single day!  I loathed every time I was starting to get myself ready for work.  I’ve cried so many tears at day and night willing myself to just leave this job! Every time I walked on the street towards my workplace, I hoped and imagined myself of falling down the stairs, getting hit by a car or whatsoever just to have an excuse of being absent!  It really was sick and unhealthy am telling you.  But I still feel so lucky and fortunate to have a very understanding man beside me.  He was there with me all the time, wanting to kick the butts off of those nasty nurses in our unit, he he he. He saw how unhappy I was and was giving his all out support to me.  (Thank you so much Gang for just being there for me when I was down.  You really are the best!  I cannot thank God enough for having you in my life. Mahal na mahal kita, you know that right? Cheezy!! Hehe)   

 Months passed by and now am still with this great institution, thinking of how unfortunate it would have been if I resigned.  All of us just have a moment of weakness and start thinking that the only way out is to file an immediate resignation.  But I realized now that it’s wrong.  I learned a lesson from one of the nurses I met.  She told me that she also experienced the same thing when she was new, that everything will just pass.  She told me to toughen it up and that I shouldn’t be too sensitive.  Well, she was just right!  Since then, I stopped caring about what others may say as long as I was doing my job well then I shouldn’t be scared of anything!  And now, I’ve adopted and started to love my job again.  In, less than 2 months I will have a year of hospital experience already and can start applying for a job abroad. I don’t know.  The choices are just so plenty that I don’t know which one I should make.  As what Forrest Gump said: “life is like a box of chocolate, you don’t know which one to get”.  Yeah, I’ve been carrying a license to work in America as a nurse for 3 years now but the problem is I still don’t have the visa.  Also, there are opportunities to work in London, Australia and Canada.  Hmmm.. for now I still don’t know but one thing I know is that me and my partner hopes to migrate to a 1^st world country and build a family there.  Well… let’s just wait and see.. my fingers are crossed, hoping for the best! J 

We’ve had this preceptor during our english proficiency training program (which I don’t understand why we needed to undergo) who had introduced the title of this entry to us.   

I have to agree with this.  With such thought on mind, you are humbled.  A being can never know everything about anything so no one can ever be too proud with their knowledge.  Yes, a person can attain wisdom but that is surely just a minute part of a very vast stock on information in the world.  Even those called experts accept the fact that they still do not know everything but yes they do know a lot of things of their area of specialization.   And this drives them to gain or acquire more facts. This was also brought up in the famous book by paulo coehlo : the alchemist.  If you have the time, you better check out and spend a little of your precious time to read it because you would definitely learn something that is indeed beneficial to your existence.

After graduating in college and passing all the examinations needed to get a license here and America, I never thought that I had learned enough.  Passing several tests doesn’t signify that you should stop studying.  My god, specially with my profession, one would really need to upgrade oneself with the innovations in my practice.  Should attend trainings, seminars and be oriented with the high end equipments and machines in our institution.

Am a bit tired now.. still have to get up early for work tomorrow…

Well.. guys.. I have to reiterate what I said: STAY HUNGRY! STAY FOOLISH!

Hungry for knowledge that is! 

lately, i've been confused.. very confused.. there are two men in my life now and deep inside i know who i love.. the thing is, the person that i love now is someone whom i knew for just more than a year.. then i am still currently tied with my long term boyfriend.. and when i say long term, it is looong.. like 9 YEARS! we've been together since 3rd year high school until now.. but for the last year of our relationship has been very communication was bad and we fought almost everytime we see or talk to eachother.. it had been a horrible horrible year for me and for him as well.. i tried to reach out but he's just pulling away all the time... also, i feel that there is no growth in our relationship.. it's becoming unhealthy for the two of us.. and during that time, i became closer to this other guy for he was there for me all the time and i helped him with his business.. anyway, now i have decided to finally let go of someone to make things right and god! i can't live this way forever! i've decided to love this new guy with all my heart now.. i really want to have the freedom to love this man.. but, saying goodbye to a 9-year relationship is nothing but TERRIBLY DIFFICULT!!! i don't know how to tell him.. i don't know what to say.. all i know is that i want to set things straight.. please do give me your guys' thoughts and points of view of my situation.. my mind is just a mess now!.. help!